You Only Matter
by Little-Bit910
Summary: A poem I wrote, I don't know if it fits in with this story, it just sounded like the right subtitle. please review... This is straight from my heart, about my one true love. Chapter one about the happiness he brought, chapter two about the destruction.
1. Chapter 1 The Love

** A/N: Hey guys, this is a random poem I had written about my boyfriend, and, well, it needs some work, but I don't want it just sitting on my computer anymore, I hope you like it and I hope you guys don't hate me for taking so long to update, but I'm working up the courage to write a love story when I hurt so bad. I miss him a lot and I'm having a hard time, but I shall work my hardest to finish. So if your a first time reader look at my other stuff and if your a Natalie fan, then, well, be patient, please. I'm sorry, please review this! I need the feedback, again, I am not a poet, but I worked really hard for our one year anniversary on it.**

**You Only Matter**

I was falling; fallings so hard—blind to the works. There was only a pair of eyes that I could distinguish. The eyes had a chocolate allure in the disgruntled mess in which I called a life. But those eyes scared me and so I fled. Nightmares of losing hope. No comfort anywhere else but in your reassuring arms, but still I could not recognize that. Though a deeply rooted need in which only my subconscious understood.

A kiss in public amid the chaos was the hope I thought I lost from my dreams, The promise, "I won't hurt you."

Four words that meant everything.

Scared of the consequences of my actions, I fought with myself—hours upon hours—on the need conquering the fear. I opened my heart at the thought of losing, and gained more than I could hope for: two arms held out for me at any given time, two eyes that saw me for who I am, A touch that could send goose bumps up my arm and heat through my veins, a mind that could understand mine clearer than I could have hoped to, and another soul that could connect with mine on levels that no one could.

The fear disappeared, the worry no more, because in these arms nothing mattered but the feeling of the love. Realization hit me hard, love a difficult feeling to feel, but those chestnut eyes took my heart by storm. How could I compete with such painstaking beauty? How could those eyes only see me? Day by day my feelings grow, and even when my heart seems so overbearingly full I might just explode, something else you do makes my heart grow bigger. Uncomfortably comfortable. All I need is you. You make me happy, you keep me sane, you hold me up when all I want to do is fall down and cry, you take over my thoughts and body and soul. Make me try harder and make me love you more.

A kiss in public amid the chaos was the hope I thought I lost from my dreams, The promise, "I won't hurt you."

Four words that meant everything.

I wish I could explain better, the exact depth my feeling go, but that would be like telling someone what is at the end of the universe, when it goes on forever. I wish I could explain how much I truly care and how much you, with the chestnut eyes, helped me even when I hurt you so. You opened up your heart and soul to me, and I'm so glad you did, because there is no way I could live without you.

I wish it was easier to get the words out right, but words are stupid and useless and never come out right. All I can do is hope that my eyes convey what I really mean and you can see that this is just a small insignificant piece of my feelings. Of which will never truly be conveyed through any way. I could be the best poet, or the greatest writer, I could paint all I wanted, but there is no way any of it would tell even touch on the fact that.

I love you Forever and ever more. There is only you.

A kiss in public amid the chaos was the hope I thought I lost from my dreams, The promise, "I won't hurt you."

Four words that meant everything.

And forever will.


	2. Chapter 2 The loss

So, this is how i feel after the break up, really sucky, not the best written, but it's from my heart, and soon look for it to become a story. I'll be posting chapters soon, i swear, but the love is gone, and it makes it hard to write about love. I still love my readers though, so I'm working on it.

(I own all rights to this writing, it's from the bottom of my heart)

Natalie

* * *

**Day before Valentine's day 2011**

I hurt, more than anyone can see.

My arms crossed across my chest, holding myself together, when all I want to do is fall apart.

My smile always fake, because it feels like I don't have the the right to be happy anymore.

But no one can tell.

You'd rather see the facade because that means I can be okay without you when it's the exact opposite, I hurt, I cry, I scream, I dream, I miss, I lose myself in pain, I wish everything would be okay, but it won't be, it can't be, without you there.

A facade got us here, a lie on your face when you saw me near.

You acted like you were okay, to ease my worried mind, but gave me no time to prepare for the onslaught of emotion I always feared.

So it is just poetic justice that the one thing that kept you alive keeps me alive now, what you think you see of me, is what is most fake.

You don't see the weeping and the pain, the hurt, the screaming of your name to come back and take this pain away.

You don't see the fire gone from me.

The will to do what I love most, deteriorated from me, nothing matters when what you love most us gone.

I guess I'd rather you happy than me, but the pain is so great.

The dreams so powerful, full of words saying you'll be back.

Remembered caresses tease me, words of prophetic return and love and patience tear me, searing kisses wake me, and sadness overwhelms me when I wake to an empty bed.

And I can do nothing to change it.

Nothing to fix myself because i will forever be hurting, and no one can see it.

My heart is in shatters again, my emotions frayed, I've lost control of myself, my composure not even skin thick, and you are okay, smiling and laughing and going on with your life.

I don't know what I did wrong, because surely it was my fault if this is so easy for you.

I feel like an idiot for even thinking you would love me forever when you are destined for so much more than me and Texas, you deserve all the happiness in the world that u could bot bring, and still the moment you ever said you missed me, I would be back in your arms again.

Selfish, I know. I don't know what else to say, I'm so in love with you, and you will never look my way again, I don't matter, you don't care, and I thought everything you said to me, was what you meant.

Obviously I'm moronic and stupid.

There is no point to me posting this because you will never see it anyways.

But I have to tell you, I love you with all my heart even now and that will never change, I hurt so bad, I guess I deserve it though.

I thought it was okay to keep you to myself, when you have an amazing life ahead of you.

And so much happiness and live to give to someone else or someone else's, and I will be stuck here mourning the loss of everything I hold dear, I don't know why I let my heart get the better of me, and tell me you were here to stay, when I should have known I was nothing compared to what you deserve.

I know you won't think of me, I know soon I'll be gone, but ask you try to remember the girl in high school, you fell so hard for, the girl you promised everything to, and took everything away from.

I just ask you to remember her even though I know you'll never read this.

I ask you to remember, and know she'll never forget.


End file.
